Giving Back one broken bone at a time …..

Down Hill Mountain Bike Nationals 

Snowshoe West Virginia 

First hour we arrived after a 2400 mile drive and breaking down road side in Kentucky for 13 hrs.  Leaving on Friday the 13th…….never again!!   This all unfolded. 

I wanted to share this moment. My baby boy was fully in shock and we were waiting for an ambulance transport. He wasn’t even really communicating with me and I was really scared. I want to have a real moment with ya all. I struggle with this on a daily. My children are complete bad asses. I don’t know how it happened. I encourage them to be authentic but I never push them to be like this. Not broken. It’s not worth it. This moment sucked. They push themselves. They are racers. They are senders and they are winners. However as a mommy these moments are so painful. These are my babies. My children. Seeing @jdogjohnston all Busted up like this literally broke my heart. It is still broken. Sitting next to him was his sister. Also with a substantial fracture. I play this moment in my head over and over. Have I given them the tools they need? Am I the crazy race Mom? Have we gone too far? And what does that mean? These are my Fucking babies. They grew in my body. I wanted to make it go away. I wanted to soothe Zoë at the same moment Jdog was going into a weird pain trance and say all the right things. Like Wow you two are rad. But I really wanted to choke them for sending road gaps, huge doubles ….triples and step downs. I wanted to cry, scream, laugh and hide all at the same time. Im so impressed, ashamed and blown away as these moments were happening. What does shock mean? What do you mean his abdomen is hard? What why are we transporting? That means it’s serious? Someone please just grab me and tell me all will be well…..and then it happened. I felt my dads presence and an urge to laugh came over me. The moment when I’m 16 and I’m living in a cave so I can climb rocks full time. (Literally) He looked at me and said. I hope you have kids just like you some day so you can feel the worry and pain I feel every time I watch you pack that pack. Well Dad…: “I hate love you”. That time has come. And guess what …….@zoeraywood and @jdogjohnston are #stillgonnasendit and @gnarleymarleyandfatbaby are right behind them #motherhood #dudemom

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s